Why Talking About Money Is the Most Powerful Thing You Can Do (Especially for Women)
By Ruthanne Monteleone, CFP® & Seth Borders CFP®, CPWA®
We’ll talk about almost anything—health, relationships, career struggles—but when it comes to money, the conversation often stops. It’s considered impolite, awkward, or even “too personal.” But here’s the truth: staying silent about money is one of the biggest reasons many of us feel stuck or uncertain about our financial lives.
As a financial advisor, talking about money is second nature for me. Sometimes, I forget just how taboo it is for most people. A few weeks ago, I was having a casual financial conversation with my brother (in front of my spouse)—nothing overly personal—when I suddenly asked him how much he made. To me, this was just a natural step to tailor the conversation to his personal situation, which is the foundation of how I approach financial planning. Later, my husband pointed out that I had just blurted out a pretty direct—and potentially invasive—question.
The truth is, maybe I shouldn’t have gone that far with a family member. But realistically, if you want personalized advice, you do have to share the details. Not necessarily with friends or family, but definitely with a trusted financial advisor who can help you create a plan that reflects your goals, values, and needs.
That’s why my partner Seth and I built Plan & Prosper—to give individuals and families a safe, judgment-free space to talk about money openly, ask every question (even the ones you think you “should already know”), and get advice that’s tailored to your life.
Why Silence Hurts Us
When we avoid talking about money, we:
- Miss out on opportunities to grow. How can we ask for a raise if we don’t know what others in our field earn?
- Repeat avoidable mistakes. We don’t learn from each other’s wins and setbacks.
- Feel more stressed than we need to. We suffer in silence over things that could be solved with simple advice or shared resources.
For women especially, this silence can hold us back. We’re taught to be “polite,” not ask too many questions, or assume that money management is someone else’s job. That conditioning often leads to missed opportunities to build confidence and wealth.
Talk Openly—But Filter Advice
One of the benefits of talking about money with trusted friends and family is that you gain perspective. But here’s the catch: their advice isn’t always right for you. Just because a friend swears by a certain investment or budgeting strategy doesn’t mean it aligns with your financial goals, risk tolerance, or life stage.
This is where having a professional advisor you trust becomes invaluable. At Plan & Prosper, Seth and I specialize in helping people filter out the “noise” and create personalized financial strategies that actually fit their lives—no cookie-cutter plans, no judgment.
Conversations Build Confidence
When you start talking about money, you’ll notice something amazing: it’s less intimidating. It becomes just another topic, like discussing your health or planning a trip.
- You gain new ideas: Maybe your friend negotiated a work benefit you didn’t know was possible.
- You find support: Talking openly about money goals makes them feel real and achievable.
- You inspire others: Your willingness to share can help someone else break their own silence.
3 Simple Ways to Start the Conversation
- Have a “Money Date”
Whether with your partner or just yourself, set aside time each month to check in on your financial goals. Make it intentional and positive—this is about creating your future, not stressing over numbers. - Ask Curious Questions (With Tact)
You don’t have to be blunt (like I was with my brother!) to open a meaningful conversation. Instead of “How much do you make?” try “What’s one financial habit or tip that’s helped you recently?” - Share, But Don’t Compare
Share what’s working for you, but remember: what works for someone else isn’t automatically right for your life. That’s why personalized guidance from a professional advisor matters.
The Ripple Effect of Talking About Money
Talking about money isn’t just about dollars and cents—it’s about freedom, confidence, and connection. The more we normalize these conversations, the more we all benefit.
If you’ve been holding back on asking money questions or starting your financial plan, this is your sign to take the first step. At Plan & Prosper, we love having these conversations—without judgment—and helping people create plans that feel empowering and doable.
So, the next time you’re tempted to stay silent about a financial question or decision, pause and ask: “What could I gain from talking about this?” And if you want to talk it through with someone who will listen, guide, and tailor a strategy to you, we’re here for that.